Insert Witty Title Here
by Kate Has The Wings
Summary: When Hiei decides to play a prank on Kuwabara, things don't go as planned. Not a Yaoi.


They had just finished a mission, and were resting at a hotel for the night. The mission was hard, and gruesome, and each boy welcomed the rest, and were quite happy to get to their rooms. Hiei however was looking for revenge on Kuwabara, an innocent joke betwen the two had cost himself quite a bit of pain, and Hiei was a vengeful person.

Hiei knew they had a little 'escort' service here, if you get the drift, and Hiei decided a littl present was in store. Hiei approached the counter of the service, these sorts of things not illegal in the Makai. Hiei smiled, this would be a trick far too sweet.

"Hello, sir, I'm Vyo what's your pleasure?" The short haired receptionist asked, her eyes glowing, my, he was attractive!

"A little present for my friend over there. How much does this cost?" Hiei asked.

"Well, what's his pleasure? It all depends on who. Sometimes, depending on how they ride, they cost a little more or a little less." She talked with her hands, Hiei noticed.

'They probably get alot of use.' Hiei thought to himself, and thought more about if he should get the hardest ore girl for the virgin.

"Well? Is he for bondage? Is he for sweet, carnal, what!" She seemed almost desperate to get this sale.

"He's a stupid human virgin." Hiei said aloud. "Does that count for anything?"

Vyo's eyes closed in thought. "Let me guess, large chested, blonde or red, and a sweet personality who's not willing to try and wait?"

"Yes, Blonde, and yes." Hiei smiled. "How many times do you do this a day?"

"Hell most of the time I'm on my back, what's it matter?" She got defensive.

"Hn." Hiei sighed, and reached into his pocket, grabbed a handful of cash, and gave her a good amount of it.

"Yeah... This'll pay for everything, we don't want a pregnant girl on our hands."

"Ahh..." Hiei felt really uncomfortable.

"When should I send her around?" She asked.

"Ten?" Hiei smiled. He was glad each decided to spend Koenma's cash and splurge for seperate rooms.

"What room?"

"370A." Hiei smiled.

"Alright. Now, what kind of clothing? Which one?" She asked quietly to herself.

"Still haven't decided on a girl?" Hiei asked.

"Hmm, it's really a toss up between three." She bit her lip, and scratched her head. "Blonde, large chested, and willing to try and wait and teach and learn..."

"Show them to me." Hiei offered. "I got an idea of what he'd like."

"Give me a minute then, two are with customers." She sighed.

"Then just go for the other one." Hiei shrugged.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea..."

"What's wrong with her?" Hiei asked.

"She's got a lot of spirit that one... I'm not sure why she sticks around. She knows she can leave at any time. She's a human like your friend, but she knows a little too much about the real world... Too young for what she does and yet no matter how many times I turn her away she comes back..."

"Seems I stumbled onto a bit more than I thought I was..." Hiei said. "What's a human doing here?"

"She was left here when she was four. The rest of the girls and I raised her, but she's a little... more than you bargained for..." Vyo hinted.

"I don't understand."

"She's difficult! She's great in the sack, or so I've heard, but she's hard to get along with if you're a customer. She's turned away several men before, and sent them on the path of being preists and warriors for the greater good." She smiled at the thought. "If your friend is scum she'll set him straight. If not, he'll get a great lay and more than he wanted."

"Perfect." Hiei smiled. This WAS meant to torture Kuwabara after all.

"Uh... It's her day off, and I'm sure I can get the better one." She offered.

The elevator behind Vyo opened, and out stepped a girl, fifteen at most, bright brown eyes and long blond curly hair. She was large chested, and wore a shirt that said: I've been bad, very, very bad. She was medium height, with a bright smile, and jeans on.

"This is Chye-fu Chydo." Vyo sweat dropped. "The girl who's off--"

"I can take one." Said girl offered. "It's so boring around here without customers."

"It's ok--"

"What time?"

Vyo sighed, and whacked her head on the reception desk repeatedly. "WON'T YOU TAKE ONE DAY OFF!"

Chye shook her head, and smiled brightly. "Haggling customers is fun!"

"Which is why you should not be in this proffesion." Vyo sighed. "Fine, the virgin in 370A is all yours. Just don't scare him into perpetual abstenance, kay?"

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "Is this him?"

"No, I'm in 371B, this is for a... friend..."

"Make sure he has something, kay?"

Hiei walked up to Kuwabara a little after sunset, about 8:30. Hiei held out his hand, and smiled, offering him what lay in his closed palm. Kuwabara looked at him oddly. Hiei sighed, and threw it at him. Kuwabara flinched, and watched Hiei walk off. That was awkward. What was more awkward was what Hiei put in his palm.

"Dude, what was that about?" Yusuke said, having watched the whole ordeal.

"Hiei threw a condom at me." Kuwabara showed the packet.

"Yeah, I'll never understand him." Yusuke shook his head.

"Weird."

Hiei sighed. It was now 9:55, and he sat in the hallway, near enough to hear, but not close enough to be seen. Chye approached the hallway, and sighed, a smile playing on her lips. Virgins were always fun. More fun then the guys who expected. Chye knocked on 370A, and waited. Kuwabra opened the door curiously.

"Hey big guy." Chye said seductively. Chye wore less than a quarter of a shirt, and leather shorts far too small and tight for her own good. Hiei hadn't been aware a girls voice could change so much. Hiei wondered if Vyo's voice changed like that. Hiei found his cheeks warm, and his face red.

"Uh, can I help you?" Kuwabara asked, eying the girl oddly.

"Mmm-hmmm." She nodded, and bit her bottom lip attractively.

"What can I do?" Kuwabara asked.

"You could start by taking your shirt off, but that's only a friendly reminder." Chye pushed Kuwabara into the room, and closed the door.

Hiei stood, and walked to sit right outside the door. He took off his Jagan's blind fold, and looked into the room. He'd watch until it got too personal or until he needed to hide from Kuwabara running from the room.

"What're you talking about." Kuwabara asked, confused.

"Here..." Chye slid her shirt off, and stood half naked infront of Kuwabara.

Kuwabara stared in blatant shock for a moment before blushing, and turning away. "What're you doing?"

"If you don't know then I'm not doing my job right." Chye ran her fingers up his arms slowly. Kuwabara resisted the urge to shiver from her touch, this wasn't right.

"Look lady--"

"The names Chye, gorgeous." She put her hand on his chest, spinning him around to face her.

"What're you doing here?" Kuwabara asked, totally confused. "Put your shirt on..." Kuwabara handed her her quarter of a shirt, and she sighed, dropping it on the ground.

"You don't want me?" Chye asked, pulling away. Her eyes saddened. She'd never been turned down before.

"No-- I mean yes-- I mean... Look, just tell me why you're in my room."

"I'm here because someone paid for this service. I don't do charity work, ya know." Chye snapped. "Don't you know?"

"Who paid?" Kuwabara was freaked out by this. "Do you even have the right room?"

"A Short demon with black spikey hair. He said you two were friends, that I was some sort of present. I presumed that this was what you wanted." Chye sighed.

"Look, I'm not into that whole kind of thing, Chye." Kuwabara said.

"What guy isn't into sex?" Chye laughed.

"That's not what I meant. I don't think that I feel like taking advantage of you." Kuwabara said honestly.

"You're not, I'm standing infront of you offering half naked and waiting for you to take some charge." Chye sighed.

Kuwabara thought for a moment, and shook his head. "Sorry, but I don't like objectifying women to impossible standards."

Chye looked at him as if he was crazy. "No one will know. No one can see us, or hear us, these walls are as thick as they are wide!" She walked up to him, put her hand on his chest, and leaned up, barely brushing her lips to his. "No one will ever know..."

"That's not even it." Kuwabara shook his head, and pulled away.

"Fine, but we don't do refunds." Chye reached for her shirt, and put it on with some struggle. Chye angrily turned on her heel and headed for the door. "It's men like you who make my job so difficult! I'm gonna get fired for this..." She reached for the handle.

"Look-- I'm not trying to make things harder for you. Come get something to eat with me. Take the payment, and I'll use my time a little differently."

Chye stopped, not turning. "What do you mean?" She asked cautiously. "It's against the rules for me to trust anything you say."

"I don't know. Talk with me. Let me talk. Whatever suits you. Take a shower. I don't care. I just would hate to be the reason you lose your job." Kuwabara scratched the back of his head.

"Really?" Chye asked, now turning, her seductiveness gone, and her cute-itude baring itself... She looked like a kid now, like a lost kid who just wanted to be held, not man-handled. "You care?"

"Yeah. Look, I know there aren't any real chairs in here, butI'll microwave a homecooked meal for you, and you can eat it on the bed, hows that sound?" Kuwabara smiled. "I'll even sit on the floor if it makes you feel less like you're breaking rules."

Chye nodded cautiously.

Hiei was confused. Why wasn't he acting stupid? Why wasn't he being a pervert? Why didn't his eyes drift to her chest? Wasn't the oaf curious? Hiei sighed. Well surely he was, but why was he acting... unoafish? He'd keep watching.

In five minutes she was on the bed, laying, and eating, herself on her stomach, her head at the foot of the bed, Kuwabara sitting against the bed, looking up at her.

"C'mon smile for me, you're eating my home cooked meal." Kuwabara smiled up at her. "Show me that pretty smile of yours..."

"You're different..." Chye smiled at his antics, and the smile stayed on her face as she ate. "I don't understand. You aren't like those other men." Chye sighed. "Why didn't you take me when you had the chance? Men have been known to threaten Vyo's life for me."

"I'm not like other guys. I don't think that's a thing people should do. I'm sorry if this wasn't what you had planned."

"This is much better actually. This is really good, and that isn't a fake euphanism either." Chye smiled. "I remember when I was 13, Vyo taught me how to fake it." She laughed hard.

"How old are you?" Kuwabara asked, now wondering how old she was. When she came in, she looked 20, and then when she let down her wall 12... and if you looked closely she looked 16.

"Fifteen." Chye said offhandedly. "They didn't push me into it-- it just kinda happened."

"Why are you here?" Kuwabara nodded, understanding that that wasn't safe ground to tread on yet.

"No one ever told me anything except that I'm a human who was left here on someones vacation eleven years ago." Chye sighed, and ate a little more. "Man, I wish we could afford food this good."

"I've got a few more packages of it, you can take them if you want." Kuwabara offered.

"I don't want to put you out..."

"You aren't. If you weren't here I might've jumped out the window from sheer bordom." Kuwabara laughed. "I just don't get demon TV."

"It's all I know so I can't compare. Do they not kill the losers in the Ningenkai?"

"No... they don't..."

Chye shrugged. "What brings you here anyway?"

"I'm basically the police force for the Makai." Kuwabara smiled. "Which is pretty accurate."

"You're another Spirit detective?" Chye asked. "I got a man drunk once, and he spilled his life story, then I convinced him that serving Koenma may be for the greater good, but if theres a greater good there had better atleast be a common good, and how could there possibly be a common good if no one was working to just make the world okay? How would it get great?" Chye smiled, and continued eating.

"You get alot of customers?" Kuwabara asked randomly.

"Yeah, mostly mercs, sailors, gang bosses, Koenma came in once, and Vyo took care of him, though I don't think they did anything but talk. How long are you here for?" Chye asked almost hopefully.

"A few days to rest up, and then we're heading back to the Ningenkai." Kuwabara smiled.

"Got a good girl at home?" She asked, almost hoping the answer was no.

"I'm not the same person there. I'm supposedly a pervert street fighter." Kuwabara chuckled. "If the others saw me now, they'd never understand."

"You put on an act?" Chye asked. "I... I'm not allowed to let mine down in front of paying customers."

"I didn't pay." Kuwabara smiled. "See, theres always a way around the system."

Chye laughed, and pushed Kuwabara's head. "You're smarter than you seem." She smiled, and sobered, and let her hand wander back to his hair, but pulled back before he noticed, or felt her hand.

Kuwabara also wore a smile, and scruffed his hair a little, Chye blushed, guess he felt it... "Yeah, I get that alot."

The two sat in companionable silence for five minutes, Chye eating, and looking at Kuwabara kindly. Kuwabara smiling back at her.

"I... I've never been to the Ningenkai before." Chye started. "I've barely been into the Makai. Really I know little beyond the bedroom." Chye sighed. "Actually, I haven't had a day of in almost three weeks."

". . . While I'm here I can show you around the Makai." Kuwabara offered. "Theres alot to see, but it's really beautiful when it's really simple."

"Tell me about it?"

"There is a place not car from here where you can see the ocean, the mountains, the desert,the tundra, and where you stand is on a grassy hill with wildflowers and some small animals. You can see everything the Makai has to offer, and if you ever get lost, you can find your way back to the hill, because no matter where you are, you can see it." Kuwabara smiled.

"That sounds... wonderful."

"It is." Kuwabara nodded.

"Will you really take me there?" Chye asked.

"We can go now, and watch the sunrise over the desert, if you feel like chatting a while."

Chye's eyes lit up, and she nodded hysterically. "I-I'd love that! You'd really bring me there?"

"Of course, I'm a man of my word." Kuwabara chuckled. "Lots of broken promises?"

"Too many to count. The first was 'Chye, I'll be right back, me and your father are going to the car to get somethings, stay here and don't move.'" Chye chuckled sourly.

"Geez, I kinda know what it is like growing up without parents. Mine... Well that's another story for another day." Kuwabara put on a smile.

"Wait!" Chye pouted. "You have to promise me one thing that you can't break."

"... Okay..."

"No fake smiles, no fake laughs, and don't lie to me. If you don't want me around don't act like you do, and if you tire of me, I'll go away. Just be honest with me, and I'll do the same if you want to hear me talk." Chye said, finishing her food.

Kuwabara just nodded. "You have to answer my questions though, see if I can solve this mystery."

Chye laughed and nodded. "Fine, fine, solve my inner workings, but while your at it, would you mind washing my brain out? It's been getting rusty." Chye stood and walked to the sink, washing the dish.

Kuwabara chuckled, and shook his head dismissively. "You don't have to wash that."

"I know that. I just feel empty right now. I have to preoccupy my time with something." She smiled. "If not great sex with a sexy virgin, what else?" Chye teased.

This made Kuwabara blush.

"I didn't get your name..." Chye finished, blushing that she hadn't bothered to ask.

"Kuwabara Kazuma." Kuwabara said still blushing.

"So, Kuwabara, dare you wisk me off from my tower? You've defeated the dragon, and by all rights you should marry the princess." Chye teased.

Kuwabara laughed almost hysterically. If she wasn't a prostitute she might get her request. After all, that is the code he abides by. If she only knew.

"If you say so." Kuwabara smirked, and walked over to her, wisking her off of her feet. Chye 'eeped' loudly, and laughed.

"Take me away to your castle, and have your way with me, if I say that will you agree?" She smirked.

"Haven't we been over that?" Kuwabara sighed, a smile on his lips.

"Well, now that you have me, where will you take me?"

Hiei ran around the corner, and hid his energies. Kuwabara emerged from the room, carrying Chye in his arms. This wasn't what he had expected, he'd expected Kuwabara to get a nosebleed, and hyperventalate in the bathroom, wondering what to do with the prostitute in the bedroom. Hiei sighed, though this proved more entertaining, he had to wonder why Kuwabara wore that mask. Hiei would follow and watch, at a distance.

Kuwabara walked with Chye in his arms, Chye with her head against his shoulder, comfortable in his embrace. Kuwabara held her warmly. He didn't know what was going on inside him, a civil war between his heart and brain. One said stop, and the other said keep going. Kuwabara would go wherever Chye wanted, until he found out these strange feelings in himself.

Chye was sleeping on his shoulder when they arrived, one tree on the hill, at the very top. Kuwabara sat down, and kept her in his arms, sleeping for a moment. Kuwabara looked at her face, and ran a rough finger down her cheek, not waking her, being very gently doing so. He brushed some hair from her eyes, and sighed contently. He never imagined he'd ever lay with a prostitute, or befriend one, but as time passed, he couldn't help but feel he had to stay, if not for her, then for himself.

Chye stirred in his arms almost an hour later. She blinked open her eyes tiredly, and smiled up at him sheepishly.

"How long have we been here?"

"Not long enough." He smiled gently at her.

Chye smiled, and got off him quickly, and sat herself next to him.

Kuwabara was almost sad she got up, but didn't show it. "Well, almost two hours since we left."

"I thought you said it was nearby!" She laughed accusingly.

"It was, I just let you sleep." Kuwabara teased.

"Oh..."

" Now you have to tell me what's up with that place, why do they have that kind of service?" Kuwabara questioned.

"It's in high demand, and we're known for being the best in this end of the Makai. I'm very proud of how hard the people have been working lately. It's rut season, and I haven't slept in over a week." Chye explained.

"Isn't that how they take mates?" Kuwabara was confused.

"We enforce the no bonding, biting, and weird sexual acts rule." Chye smiled. "Cute."

"What?" Kuwabara asked.

"You don't understand anything about the demons you work with." She smiled, and entertwined her hand in his.

Boy, that was true! Hiei thought... Uh-oh... Nosy ol' Yusuke followed him.

"What are you up to at this hour, Hiei?" Yusuke sighed, walking up to him.

"It's none of your business, boy, but if you must know, I think I just gave Kuwabara the best present he'll ever get." Hiei sighed.

"A... Prostitute?"

"Love." Hiei sighed.

Yusuke looked on from a nearby tree. "Hn." Yusuke smiled. "The big lug fell in-love and he doesn't even know it."

"It was supposed to be a practical joke, giving him a prostitute." Hiei sighed. "He can expect no christmas present from me this year."

"Like you ever got him one." Yusuke chuckled.

The sun rose faster then the two had liked, and Chye still sat comfortably next to Kuwabara, hands still linked together.

"How long are you here for?" Chye asked hopeful.

"Leaving tomorrow at dawn." Kuwabara sighed. "Wished I never had to go back."

"I know what you mean. I wish I never had to move. It's just so... beautiful." Chye looked at he orange and pink sky, the waves of the ocean coming in different colors, the snow on the mountain top pinkish, the forest held it's own remarkable beauty.

"I know." Kuwabara wasn't looking at the scenery when he said it, he was looking at Chye.

"I have to head back now. I have a line of customers today." Chye sighed. "Can you take me back? I don't remember how to get back there." She blushed.

Kuwabara was hesitant to let Chye go back, she didn't deserve that treatment, to be used by others. Then again he shouldn't expect others to follow his code. After all, his code was not for the weak.

"'Bara?" Chye asked at his silence.

"Do I have to lead you back?" Kuwabara asked. "We could stay a bit longer..."

"I have a customer at 9:30, I have to go back so I can shower, and get pretty." Chye sighed, and stood up, letting his hand go, dusting off her leather seat.

Kuwabara reluctantly stood, and picked her back up.

"Huh--?"

"Take you back in style." Kuwabara smiled, and brought her back.

Yusuke and Hiei ran back to the hotel, and to their rooms in haste. Kuwabara was approaching the building when they reached their rooms.

Kuwabara carried Chye to her room, letting her navigate him around the hotel, and sighed when they reached her room, not wanting to let her go. She got down reluctantly, and tried to straighten herself up.

"Thanks, 'Bara." Chye smiled.

"Maybe I could see you later, if you're not busy?" Kuwabara asked, shuffling his feet nervously.

"That may be difficult... I have a 9:30, an 11, a 1, a 3:15, and a 7." Chye sighed.

"Well, after 7?" Kuwabara hoped. "If you're too tired... I'll understand... But... I'd like to see you again. I'll bring the food and meet you here if it'd help."

"Kuwabara, are you asking me on a date?" Chye asked, almost hopingly.

"... You could call it that..."

Chye squeaked happily, and blushed maddingly red. "I... I'll be ready by 8." She smiled happily, and turned to the door to unlock it.

Kuwabara smiled, and nodded. Chye opened the door, and turned to him. She blushed brightly, and stood on her toes try to reach him, She pulled him down slightly and kissed him softly.

Hiei sighed. Not the right plan, but it would do for some entertainment. Yusuke smiled, and exited his room as Kuwabara entered his. Yusuke went and knocked on Kuwabara's door. Kuwabara opened the door, and that proved to be a long conversation of Kuwabara blabbing on and on.

It was 8, and Kuwabara knocked on Chye's door. CHye didn't cometo the door, however, Vyo did. Vyo sized him up, and sighed.

"She isn't here, boy." Vyo explained. "She's in the Med wing."

"Why? What Happene!" Kuwabara asked worriedly.

"Are you Kuwabara?" Vyo asked.

"Yeah, I am." Kuwabara was confused as to why that was important.

"She asked for me to give you this." Vyo handed him a piece of paper.

Kuwabara read it outloud, after Vyo let him in. "Dear 'Bara, Sorry I can't meet you tonight after all. Was really looking forward to it... Come back sometime, and I'll make sure I have a whole day just for you. PS, this is an IOU note. Redeemable for lunch, or dinner, so long as you pay, and anything that leads to afterwards."

"She's taken a shining to you, you know. She was all bubbly and happy this morning until some guy forgot about the no mating rules." Vyo growled. "She'll be fine, she stopped it before any claim could be made, but she's a little bruised and cut up."

"Where is the medical wing?" Kuwabara asked.

"It's restricted to employees."

Kuwabara hung his head. "I don't care, I have to see her. If you don't get me in there, then there will be far more than one cut up girl, and you might have to find a nearby morgue."

"She never said you were violent." Vyo growled.

"I'm not, you should see me when I am." Kuwabara growled. "Please... Just let me see her. Break the rules, bend them... just... let me see her."

Vyo nodded, and led him across the building, entering the 'employees only lounge'. "If anyone asks what you're doing here, tell them you're the new incubus we ordered."

"Okay." Kuwabara nodded.

Vyo opened a door, and Kuwabara entered, Vyo shut it, and locked it, waiting outside the door.

"Chydo..." Kuwabara smiled at the sleeping form. She had bruises up her arms, and cuts on her neck, one on her forehead. "Chydo baby..." Kuwabara whispered trying to wake her.

She stirred slightly.

"Chydo, baby..." Kuwabara ran his rough fingers down her cheek. "It's 'Bara."

Chye woke up, blinking her eyes open adorably. "'Bara? What're you doing here?"

"Our date was cancelled, and I bullied Vyo into telling me where you were, 'cause I was worried." Kuwabara said quietly.

"The note..."

"I know, we'll make a rain check." Kuwabara smiled.

"You used my first name..."

"I... I didn't notice..."

"I like it on your voice." Chye smiled.

"How're you feeling?" Kuwabara asked.

"Better now that you're here."

"Who was it?"

"Don't hurt them." Chye smiled at him.

"Tell me who."

"Why?"

"So I can break every bone in his body." Kuwabara said honestly.

"Please, Kuwabara, I'm fine. I don't think I went over the okays and not okays with him." Chye sighed.

"You didn't with me and I didn't try to--"

"He was rutting, it's natural to try to take when you rut. Now enough of this nonsense. Come hold me."

Hiei knocked on Kurama's door, where had the fox been? The door was locked, and Kurama wasn't answering. When he did answer it was Youko with a nice cut on his cheek.

"What happened, fox?"

"Nothing you need concern yourself of." Youko said snidely.

"Do not go after her, fox. Do not pursue this." Hiei said when he smelled sex on him. "Do not mark her, she belongs with another."

"Do not council me on my decisions." Youko growled.

" If you do follow through with this, the end of the world may be upon us, fox. You know what happened when Kuwabara saw Shizuru killed? He blacked out and released all of his energy. All of it. Had I not contained it, there would be no more Ningenkai, Makai or Spirit world. Do you understand!"

"If it is challenged, then we shall follow through the challenge my way."


End file.
